I would call you, but you know me, I can't speak about anything important without saying something stupid.‎

Ok, so lately I've been stressing about you, I miss you, maybe it's because the __ are coming up or something but I just can't stop thinking about you. I just keep getting reminded of two things, how happy I was around this time last year, and how things are between us now, It's been bothering me for a while and I haven't been able to figure out what to do about it. Everytime I go into a bar, I think I'm going to walk in and see you with another dude, I'm sure you know how that goes, it's seriously the worst. That and I think about how much fun we had together, yeah we had our battles but we always made up for it with all our wacky adventures, I could list a hundred of them but some of my favorites would have to include, that scary ghost hotel in ___, pulling off the highway just to bang on our way back from ____, having sex at my highschool make out point, getting on a Ferris Wheel just to see if we could figure out a way to fool around on it, yeah ok so they all have to do with us banging in some way, so I loved having sex with my girlfriend, is that such a crime? getting kicked out of the bathroom at ____, or that time I ripped that huge wall unit off the wall when we were doing it in that hotel and it almost landed on your head, or the other time.. okay I'll stop. Basically You and I equal fun, it always has. We're like two kids when they get left home alone, just constantly trying to find mischief.

Anyway I was walking home last night, not really knowing what to do about it and I think I kind of figured it out. The truth is you're a very important person to me, I love you, I always have, I know I never said it, but I'm surprised if you didn't at least have your suspicions, I mean I know I'm a super good actor and all, but I'm not that good. and because of that in the end all I want is for you to be happy, even if that means, not with me (though that thought still makes me want to fight the world). That's it, that's what's most important, and the best way I can see for that to happen, is for me to just be as wicked/radical of a friend as I can be. So that's what I'm going to do, if you'll have me of course. xo

No comments: