i'll miss you

I couldn't give you your desires because they meant ignoring my own andmaking myself miserable, because many of your desires did not in any way consider me.

I know you know this deep down...i demand people to begood, honest and thoughtful of me...that is not too much to ask...butobviously its not what youi wish to give.

I know you could if youwanted...because you're too smart to not have the ability to care about people. Its a choice you make...which is the part that disappoints me themost.

I appreciate a lot of what you said in the letter despite its spitefultone...and I understand where you're coming from. I learn more everytime you open up to me...unfotunately the only time you share your feelings with me is at times like this.

I will think fondly of so much...but if I have one thing I want you totake from this, it is to please try and become more empathetic...you'll be so much better off. You can't live your life only for your latest whim...or else no one will ever care about you the way youwish they would...people aren't thoughtful if they don't receivethoughtfulness and consideration in return. Instead they act pained..and wounded...and scared. Like me.

I wish so much you could see that. I really do. You'll understand eventually...at least...I will hope that happens...and I wish I could know that person if she ever materializes... You're not a bad person...a dumb person...or a cruel person. But you area bitter, cynical person...and a world-weary person...and your baggage wasthrust upon you and you didn't deserve it. You deserve happiness...we all do.

I will not speak bad of you.
Its not my nature.
But I will miss you.

That's for sure.